Sally's Guide On The Side Newsletter

August 14, 2009

Volume 1, Issue 5


6650 W. State Street, Suite 227, Wauwatosa, WI 53213

Feature Article: Gratitude, Intention, and Mindfulness

Table of Contents:

A Note from Sally
Gratitude, Intention, and Mindfulness
The Powerful Act of Asking for What You Want
Monthly Speaking Tip for a Dazzling Presentation
Monthly Recommendations
Comment Corner
Reiki Circles in Milwaukee
About Sally

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A Note from Sally

Welcome to Sally's Guide On The Side specifically designed to help you improve your confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills. Please feel free to forward this issue to friends, family, associates, and loved ones.

Hello Sally,

Thank you for opening this newsletter. You are reading this because our lives have touched. This newsletter gives me the opportunity to now stay in contact and connect with you on the level you choose at least once a month.

I've discovered three conditions for success that I want to share with you, because I have found them so powerful: gratitude, intention, and mindfulness.

Gratitude, Intention, and Mindfulness

The first condition is gratitude. I found writing down five things that I was grateful for each day got me to focus on what was working well in my life. Sitting down and writing at one time all my blessings and seeing if I could get to a hundred was a wonderful exercise. I found it a significant tool to go back to when I was faced with worry, fear, or doubt. And I've definitely found that being grateful to God for what I have right now brings more to be grateful for-much more abundance.

I also found blessings in telling sales clerks, waitresses, postal employees, friends, acquaintances, and family how grateful and appreciative I was that they had helped me or were in my life. My recognition of their caring brought a smile to their face and brought me joy. You might even stop reading and see how close to l00 you can get writing down all the things you are grateful for.

The second condition is intention. Intention is the real power behind desire says Deepak Chopra in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. I can wish. I can hope. I can try .I can dream about. Yet, until I intend to do something and I can visualize, I commit, and see the situation happening, it doesn't become reality. For example, eight years ago, after my divorce, I asked God for a long lasting loving relationship, in which we mutually respect, nurture, and support each other.

After I had staffed Anthony Robbin's Mastery University Program in l997, I came back and wrote in my journal, "I must be in a relationship by Christmas and get married in l998, I'll wear the blue and white gown, have my hair in a French braid, as I wore playing the queen in Cinderella, for my wedding. A month before my wedding in March l998, I fell and broke a bone in my ankle and my elbow while I was out walking. When the orthopedic surgeon told me only forty percent of people heal with my kind of fracture, his remedy was surgery. I said, "I intend to not have my arm in a cast for the wedding, and I believe the body heals itself, and I have had the opportunity to learn Reiki since I've been in Hawaii. So surgery is not an option."

Can you remember a time when you intended, committed to doing something and accomplished it? Or when you really desired to do something and then put intention behind it and visualized it happening? I know you can. And the next time you desire to do something, you will have already had the experience from your past success.

Last, mindfulness is the third condition I have become so aware of. I need to be in the present moment. Leaving my keys in the car or walking outside the door without my key are two examples when I am not in the moment. Going back to check if I turned off the stove, unplugged the iron, or blew out the candle also alert me to the fact that I am not in the moment. Falling down and breaking two body parts because I was not present in the moment was a wake up call for me. To allow myself to worry about the future, or if only, could of, should of', would of', of the past, are not in the moment.

I was first blessed with studying Ho'opono pono, making right, more right, self-love, ancient Hawaiian values and teachings for six weeks in the summer of l998. Shortly after moving to Hawaii in June l995 from Illinois, I was given through God's grace the friendship of a wonderful kupuna, elder, in my life for three years. Luana Smith, my special Hawaiian friend, shared much wisdom with me. She changed addresses, as the Hawaiians say when they die, and went over the rainbow on October 27, l998. I learned about pono from her daughter, my kumu, teacher, Mahealani Kuumo Henry. I had the honor of attending with Luana in Mahealani's class.

I have learned through much trauma and drama that it is absolutely necessary to be in the moment. The mind and the emotions can get us in trouble, pilikia, with resentment, fear, jealousy, anger, worry, doubt, or envy. When that happens, I have learned to say kalana, forgiveness, and pomaika'i, blessings. That gives me peace, harmony, and serenity again. Now that I am aware, I have a choice. I can be mindless or mindful. I am responsible for the consequences.

© Sally K. O'Brien 2000 Copyright and Audio Recording

The Powerful Act of Asking for What You Want

Asking for what you want is a powerful, empowering act that can send strong ripples through your life. While it may seem simple enough, four things need to be in place first:

1. You know what you want.
2. You fully believe you deserve it.
3. You are prepared to accept the answer "No."
4. You have the communication skills needed for an effective request.

What Do You Want?

Wants emerge from needs you are experiencing, for example: the need to be heard, the need for respect, expedience, beauty, intimacy. Knowing the need helps you be clear about what you are requesting. It's helpful to distinguish between needs that move us towards well-being and those that never really bring happiness, such as the desire for approval or to be right.

Believe You Deserve It

If you think you can't have what you want, take time to examine your limiting beliefs. Make a list of all the things you want, and then write all the reasons you can't have them. Are these reasons really true? Have you made decisions about "reality" or made assumptions about others that keep you from even asking for what you want? When you ask people for what you want, you offer them the opportunity to contribute, something we all wish to do.

Prepare for No

Asking for what you truly want honors your experience and brings you into deeper alignment with the essence of who you are. You connect with your own humanness and know where you stand. Having asked, it may no longer be so important that you get exactly what you want; the asking, itself, is empowering.

Effective Communication

Tony Robbins says, "The answer is always 'no' if you don't ask." True! But asking is more effective when you follow these guidelines for effective communication:

1. State your need clearly, followed by your request.
2. Ask for what you want in the present (not "I wanted you to help me with the kids yesterday.")
3. Ask for what you do want, not what you don't want. ("I want you to spend time with me," not "I don't want you to be at work so much.")
4. Ask in the form of a request, rather than a demand.
5. Detach from the outcome.

Remember that empowerment comes in the asking. When you ask for what you want, you have planted not only the seeds of better communication, but of more clearly knowing who you are, which is present in what you want.

Author's content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Monthly Speaking Tip for a Dazzling Presentation

Preparation: Visualize yourself sitting across the dinner table from someone you want to persuade. See you lean forward and make direct eye contact. Hear yourself speaking with conviction, energy, and passion. This conversational dining room tone is the style you want whenever and wherever you speak in public.

© Sally K. O'Brien 2005 Copyright

Original text appeared as monthly column in Hawaii Island Chamber of Commerce Newsletter 1995-1996.

Monthly Recommendations:

Quote to Remember:" To be persuasive, we must be believable; to be believable, we must be credible; to be credible, we must be truthful."-- Edward R. Murrow

Vocal Power; Harnessing the Power Within by Arthur Samuel Joseph

As you read Arthur Samuel Joseph's book and learn about the rituals, vocal techniques, and activities contained within it, you will sense the remarkable life-altering potential of the Vocal Awareness method, he developed four decades ago which has helped thousands of celebrities, movie stars, TV stars, corporate executives, politicians, broadcasters, sports celebrities, and seasoned anchors to speak, be more powerful, and to sing. In his book he teaches the reader how to master your voice, enhance your Self, and maximize the potential of your life in only seven minutes a day. He says in the introduction, "Through the exercises of the Vocal Awareness method you will discover how to use and own your voice, develop power through self-awareness, and integrate it into total mind/body/ spirit wellness. You'll empower yourself and discover the unique qualities and strength that reside in your soul."

Joseph says before you begin to make any changes to your voice you ask two questions and write down the answers. They are: How do I believe I am presently perceived? How would I like to be perceived? Then you conscientiously practice the seven Empowerment rituals or the Vocal Awareness Checklist which are: Thank you to My Source; Love and Let Go; Allow a Silent, Loving, Down-through-my body Breath; See the Nasal Edge and Arc of Sound; Pay Attention/Deeper Listening; Take My Time; and Be Conscious of Self.

Next you do a seven minute daily vocal workout using a safe space for privacy, a mirror, a washcloth or handkerchief, a pencil, a tape recorder or an optional video camera, the Vocal Awareness Checklist, and a optional journal so you can record your observations and impressions, and always be in stature, the appropriate stance or posture in which to work.

Because it integrates mind/body/spirit, these techniques can: alleviate common vocal and communication problems, such as the fear of public speaking, using a high "little girl" voice or a weak ineffectual male voice, and vocal tension; Improve your physical health by reducing tension in your jaw, tongue, neck, and shoulders, and other areas of the body where emotional stress typically is held; enhance your body language and correct poor posture, while easing back problems;. enable you to claim ownership of your Self, and. liberate your singing voice. What a gift you will give yourself buying, reading, and doing the method, as I now choose to do.

Next month I'll review the book, No Matter What! 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love by Lisa Nichols.

Comment Corner:

Responses to the July 17, 2009, Issue 4

Hi Sally,

Thank you for the newsletter; very interesting. Can you tell me what does it mean when you see butterflies and moths? Besides, that fact, like you mention, it's a beautiful feeling. And I never thought moths were anything but a pesky fly that comes around when there is a light lit up... Every time I see one I can't wait to get it away from me. After what you said about them, I'm going to be more gentle and caring towards them.

Lynn Villalobos
Waukesha, Wisconsin


Your newsletter reminds me to slow down and recognize ALL of God's creation that surrounds us everyday. Whether it's a moth or a tree or beautiful sunset, it was all created by Him for us to enjoy, care for and appreciate! I love that you have a way of reminding me (us) of beauty in even the smallest creatures...

Nicole Schaeffer
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Hey Sally,

My sister and mother had had experiences like your moth experiences, but with birds. Not long ago my sister found a humming bird in her garage trying franticly to get out. My sister approached it and put out her arm. The bird came and sat on her arm and she walked to the door, opened it, and let the bird fly away. My mom once held a bird that appeared to be freezing on the railing of the porch. She picked it up and held it till it was warm again, and then it flew off. My friend Natasha has a white umbrella cockatoo parrot. You would not believe how affectionate that bird it. I have never seen a bird 'snuggle' but that bird does. I have a rabbit that comes in the evening and lies by my walk and has its dinner lying down and watches me go up and down the hall. Even when I am outside, the rabbit just watches me, as do the black snakes. The black snakes are the funniest things. They are so curious. They will watch me work in the garden, but if I pick up a shovel, they move away. They must have a memory of someone going after them with a shovel. I also have lots of deer that I could do with out. They know that nobody will do anything to them so they are quite brazen. One deer will let me approach quite close, but I don't want to get deer ticks. The deer eat everything in the garden.

The questions that Wayne Dyer asks us to ask ourselves are really good ones. Now when I am grumbling about something or someone, I do ask myself, "Is that true?" It is amazing how many things aren't really true when we stop and think about them. My son taught me to ask that question. It takes the punch out of all my complaints...

Kathleen Peterson
West End, North Carolina

Please share your comments about issues in the newsletter, and see them published here next month. To be printed, you must provide your full name and address and contact information just like the editorial requirements in newspapers and magazines. I look forward to your feedback and suggestions for improvement. My email address is

Reiki Circles in Milwaukee, September 12, 2009

Grateful would be the one word I'd choose for the third month of Reiki Circles in Milwaukee on Saturday, August 8, 2009. Because of other commitments, we only had 3 Reiki Masters/ Reiki Practitioners present and our growing number sending from home. Although only one family participated, we did 15 minutes of distant healing for 53 families.

As co-founder of Reiki Circles in Milwaukee, I'm very excited to join with other Reiki Masters and practitioners to offer free of charge Reiki energy healing for all special needs children and their families beginning at 10 a.m. at 2534 S. Kinnickinnic Avenue in Milwaukee the second Saturday of the month. Please contact me at 414-257-1931 for more information or distant healing even though you are not presently living in the Milwaukee area. Reiki is not limited to time or space.

On the Friday evening before the monthly event, I co-host a one hour teleseminar for all Reiki energy healers, who will be sending Reiki energy healing in person or at a distance. During the call we set the intention for the healing for all that participate in the Saturday Reiki Circles. The teleseminar will be at 5 p.m. PST, 6p.m.MST, 7 p.m. CST, and 8 p.m. EST. Email me at to get the call in number and access code to join us on the call.

Confident Power, Presence & Presentation™

Confidence Coaching From The Inside Out

About Sally: Sally K. O'Brien is a certified confidence coach, life coach, professional speaker, and author of Love Offerings to the Universe and a contributing author to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2. Sally combines her 35 years as a communication skills expert, 13 years Reiki energy healing, and 20 years as a professional speaker to help her clients move through the life challenges and transitions with ease and joy. She helps them identify a life plan that is aligned to a soul level and practical in leading a purpose driven life. To contact Sally, go to

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