Sally's Guide On The Side Newsletter

April 17, 2009

Volume 1, Issue 1


6650 W. State Street, Suite 227, Wauwatosa, WI 53213

Feature Article: At What Stage Are You?

Table Contents:

A Note from Sally: At What Stage Are You?
Quiz: How Healthy Is Your Self-Esteem?
Monthly Speaking Tip for a Dazzling Presentation
Monthly Recommendations
Comment Corner
Reiki Circles in Milwaukee
About Sally

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A Note from Sally

welcome to Sally's Guide On The Side specifically designed to help you improve your confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills. Please feel free to forward this issue to friends, family, associates, and loved ones.

"Hello Sally,"

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and we are never, ever the same."

Thank you for opening this newsletter. You are reading this because our lives have touched. This newsletter gives me the opportunity to now stay in contact and connect with you on the level you choose at least once a month.

Serendipity and synergy brought me to the women and men who provided the expertise to publish my first book in 2004. And just like that experience, serendipity and synergy have brought me the women and men who are now providing me the expertise to birth this first issue of the newsletter and create my vision of monthly Reiki Circles in Milwaukee beginning on May 2, 2009. Please scroll down to read the section on Reiki Circles at the end of the newsletter.

I had the vision of what I wanted to create and yet, what I now know for sure, is you have to ask God or the Universe or that power greater than yourself and then wait. You have to wait for the people you need to show up in your life and for the right timing. What is your vision for what you want to create in your life? Write it down, visualize it already there, feel the way you will feel when it has actually happened, and then do your part, take action so you are prepared when everything is in alignment. Above all, have trust and faith it will happen in perfect timing, and know it will.

At What Stage Are You?

We just celebrated Easter and Passover this past weekend. Where are you now in your new year's resolutions? Do you see yourself as an ugly crawling little creature, a fuzzy caterpillar, with low self esteem? Or are you withdrawn, alone, sealing yourself off from the world, a victim of pain either emotional or physical, wrapping yourself into a cocoon.

On the other hand, you may be coming out of that process, as slowly a crevice of hope appears in your hard outer layer, and you emerge. Or you may be that newly surfaced butterfly who is still clinging to its familiar surroundings, waiting for the warmth of friendship and love, encouragement and support to dry your wings. Or are you that soaring, colorful butterfly welcoming new experiences, without fear, strengthening your self esteem with each decision you make.

The metamorphosis of the caterpillar to the butterfly is a process of change in the book, How to Be Your Own Best Friend, by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berhowitz, the authors offer suggestions to improve our self esteem. One helpful hint is to compliment yourself when you do something you are proud of. The authors point out that you need to praise yourself, relish the experience, and take it in.

When things go wrong, however, Newman and Berhowitz say don't get into self recrimination. Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished and go right back and start over. Why dwell on defeats instead of victories, we must encourage ourselves. The slogan fits we can't do anything, if we believe we can't.

A good example is insisting that we are not the kind of person who can climb a mountain or make an effective speech. All you need to say is that up to now you haven't done it.

The authors talk about growth as doing things we've never done before. Sometimes things we once didn't even dream we could. We can all do much more than we think, but first we have to believe it.

Just as the emerging butterfly, we have to have the courage and confidence to try new things. The cocoon served us well, but it's time for something else. We need to go ahead, take chances, and try things we never have tried. We can learn to be our own best friend. If we do, we have a friend for life.

P.S. Promise yourself that youll be that butterfly and soar to the stars this year. 2006 Sally OBrien

Quiz: How Healthy Is Your Self Esteem?

Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves. Self-esteem is more than self-confidence; it is the belief in ourselves that says we have the right to be successful and happy. It is a feeling of being worthy and deserving of having our needs and wants fulfilled. Self-esteem is not a gift bestowed by those outside ourselves or something that can be taken from us by others. It's an inside job.

Take our quiz to find out how healthy your self-esteem is. You won't be scored at the end, but answer true or false to the following questions, and elaborate a bit on those that feel especially relevant.

T/F 1. I have a right to honor my needs and wants, to treat them as important.

T/F 2. Nobody has the power to determine how I will think and feel about myself.

T/F 3. I am competent to cope with the basic challenges of life.

T/F 4. When I suffer some defeat or setback, I am able to rise again.

T/F 5. I will usually be liked and respected by the people I like and respect.

T/F 6. If someone I like doesn't return my feelings, I don't take it as a reflection of my personal worth.

T/F 7. I am worthy of happiness.

T/F 8. I take pleasure in being alive.

T/F 9. I can talk honestly about both my shortcomings and accomplishments.

T/F 10. I am able to accept criticism with openness and non-defensiveness.

T/F 11. I am able to give and receive compliments and expressions of appreciation.

T/F 12. I am open to and curious about new ideas, new experiences, and new possibilities of life.

T/F 13. I am able to laugh at myself and find the humor in life.

T/F 14. I am flexible and able to respond to life's challenges and situations.

T/F 15. I am able to speak my needs and wants and set boundaries where needed.

T/F 16. I am not intimidated or overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety or insecurity.

T/F 17. I have a right to make mistakes.

T/F 18. I do not pretend my convictions are different than they are to win approval.

T/F 19. No one has the right to force on me ideas and values I do not accept.

T/F 20. My happiness and self-realization are noble purposes.

If you marked "true" on most of the questions and think you might have too much self-esteem, don't worry. Saying you have too much self-esteem is like saying you have too powerful an immune system, or that your health is too good! If you have questions or want to talk about your response to this quiz, don't hesitate to call.

Author's content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

Monthly Speaking Tip for a Dazzling Presentation

Preparation/Content: Speak from your heart, your truth, your passion and tell your story. People do not care how much you know about a subject before they know how much you care.

© 2005 Sally O'Brien Original text appeared as monthly column in Hawaii Island Chamber of Commerce Newsletter 1995-1996.

Monthly Recommendations:

Quote to Remember:"This is the true joy in life: the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one." George Bernard Shaw

Ambition to Meaning: Finding Your Lifes Purpose Movie or DVD

In his first movie, Dr. Wayne Dyer explores the spiritual journey in the second half of life when we yearn to find the true purpose of what we are here for and the unique contribution to the world only we can serve.

I first signed up for a two hour teleseminar with Dr. Dyer sponsored by Hay House and received the DVD as a bonus gift. During the teleseminar I took copiously twenty pages of notes and found myself in tears several times during the two hours. The DVD reinforced my learning and understanding of Dr. Dyer's latest thinking about the spiritual path.

Give yourself the gift of attending the movie when it comes to your area of the country. Or better yet, purchase the DVD and watch it over and over with your family and loved ones.

Next month I'll review Noah St. Johns book, The Secret Code of Success.

Comment Corner:

Please share your comments about the first issue of the newsletter, and see them published here next month. To be printed, you must provide your full name and address and contact information just like the editorial requirements in newspapers and magazines. I look forward to your feedback and suggestions for improvement. My email address is

Reiki Circles in Milwaukee, Beginnng May 2, 2009

As co-founder of Reiki Circles in Milwaukee, I'm very excited to join with other Reiki Masters and practitioners to offer free of charge Reiki energy healing for all special needs children and their families beginning at 10 a.m. at 2534 S. Kinnickinnic Avenue in Milwaukee the second Saturday of the month. Please contact me at 414-257-1931 for more information or distant healing even though you are not presently living in the Milwaukee area. Reiki is not limited to time or space.

On the Friday evening before the monthly event, I will co-host a one hour teleseminar for all Reiki energy healers, who will be sending Reiki energy healing in person or at a distance.

During the call we will set the intention for the healing for all who participate in the Saturday Reiki Circles. The teleseminar will be at 6 p.m. PST, 7 p.m. MST, 8 p.m. CST, and 9 p.m. EST. Email me at to get the call in number and access code to join us on the call.

Confident Power, Presence & Presentation™

Confidence Coaching From The Inside Out

About Sally: Sally K. O'Brien is a certified confidence coach, life coach, professional speaker, and author of Love Offerings to the Universe and a contributing author to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2. Sally combines her 35 years as a communication skills expert, 13 years Reiki energy healing, and 20 years as a professional speaker to help her clients move through the life challenges and transitions with ease and joy. She helps them identify a life plan that is aligned to a soul level and practical in leading a purpose driven life. To contact Sally, go to

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